T'hy'la
by Lady Merlin
Summary: Here's the long awaited sequel! In which they finally realise that they're not alone in their feelings! Rated, guess why? No. Not lemons. K/S SLASH!


Okay! Here's the _last_ unplanned sequel! I don't know if it'll work, but it's a try! It's not the first K/S kiss I've written, but it'll be the first I've published, so be gentle, kay?

I own nothing!

Jim felt like hitting his head against a wall, slowly, rhythmically and repeatedly. It might even make his headache better. _Hey!_ There was an idea. He was so worried and pissed off that he wasn't sure if his thoughts were being sarcastic. He knew it would be a bad idea to tell himself off; it would only reinforce the fact that he was _fucking insane_.

He just felt so confused. He didn't know if he should tell Spock or not, or if he was really feeling what he thought he was feeling. He didn't know if it was right or wrong, or if he even wanted it. Well, yeah, he wanted it, whatever the hell _it_ was. That was for sure.

There was a knocking on the door and Jim sighed. This was the time he _least_ wanted company. He just needed to be miserable alone, and company meant being not-alone. "Come," he called, regardless of his misery.

Spock opened the door and walked in, and suddenly he felt warm and happy. He grinned, heart suddenly less heavy. For a moment, or as long as he was with Spock he couldn't remember the whole issue about supposing to _not_ want Spock in every sense of the freaking word. Damnit, why did he _walk_ that way?!

Spock hesitated, and Jim saw serious worry in Spock's eyes. He hoped with the very essence of his being that Spock hadn't come to tell him that he was worried about Jim. _Pleasepleasepleaseple—"_Jim, I have noticed that you are not yourself recently."

Jim sighed and slumped his head on the table again. He could _feel_ Spock's eyebrows raising at his unprofessional behaviour. He felt like he was a teenager again.

*~*~*

I could sense turmoil and _misery_ from within the room, and knew not what state I would find him in. I was half expecting a lack of response, and having to resort to breaking down the door. Instead his voice came, warm, though full of an emotion that can only be described as pissed-off-ness.

He looked to be in a bad state as I walked in, and I hesitated. Surely now was the time to be a friend and not bother him about his behaviour. But I was here, and I couldn't turn.

He looked up and flashed me, as the Terrans describe it, a million watt smile. His eyes lit up and all senses of negative emotion that I sensed from him vanished, replaced with joy and warmth and relaxation. It was a strange conversion, to say the least.

Present amongst the new emotions was one very strange emotion. Desire. I couldn't understand it, it had no place in the muddle in his mind. I struggled to sense whom this desire was directed at, but Vulcans are touch-telepaths. We cannot, try as we might, read minds.

Suddenly it looked like he was pleading, and I wondered for what. Maybe he wanted someone to notice his pain? I have heard of such instances, and Jim does _not_ strike me as one to reach for attention in that manner. But to be sure, I said, _"_Jim, I have noticed that you are not yourself recently." I did not question, so he could not deny.

He sighed and slumped his head onto the table as mine had been not too long ago. He looked _miserable_. Even his golden hair looked limp and sad. He was projecting unadulterated sorrow.

I could not understand it.

*~*~*

"Jim, you are obviously not okay. I—I hope I can be considered your friend." Jim's head shot up at that statement. Spock had never sounded so unsure.

"Well, duh. You're my best friend." Jim did not intend for it to sound accusing, but he couldn't believe that Spock hadn't known.

Spock looked somewhat pleased, and continued. "I must be frank. You seem to be… what is the word… pining." Jim's eyes widened as he struggled to accept that Spock had just used the word _pining_ on him. On _him_. And _Spock_. Oh god. What was going on. How did he know?

Spock's eyebrow crinkled in surprise.

*~*~*

"Jim, you are obviously not okay. I—I hope I can be considered your friend." Spock stuttered the words, hesitant. He knew that he was taking liberties here, but he couldn't help it. He had become closer to Jim than he had been to any other living being except his mother. He couldn't believe that this friendship had brought him to this level.

"Well, duh. You're my best friend," Jim replied to Spock's surprise. Spock felt a warm tingling feeling spread throughout his body, a warmth that couldn't be ignored. He felt undeniably pleased at Jim's statement. It was better than good to know that Jim valued him as such.

But he had to continue. His mission here, he reminded himself sternly, was to ensure that Jim was okay. Nothing else. He was not here to achieve pledges of friendship.

"I must be frank. You seem to be… what is the word… pining," Spock said, still unable to believe he was _actually doing this._

Jim's eyes widened in horror, it appeared, and his emotions went _haywire_. Spock had never felt such emotional turmoil from anyone, ever. There was one thought that was so strong, he could even hear it from a distance.

_Does he know? Does he know? Oh please, don't let him know! Does he know? Does he know?_

Spock found this thought incomprehensible. What could he know that he wasn't supposed to know? His brow crinkled in consternation.

"What am I not supposed to know?" Spock asked, unthinkingly.

*~*~*

"What am I not supposed to know?" Spock asked, innocently. Jim almost _died_. He knew, he was _sure_ he hadn't said that aloud! He must have thought it so hard that he'd projected the thought onto Spock. _Fuck_.

"Nothing, Spock. Nothing."

Spock shivered. "But if you do not want me to know, specifically, then it must be significant, or else you wouldn't care so much if I knew." His logic was, as always, impeccable.

"Spock, please, _please_, leave it." Jim was pleading, which neither Jim nor Spock had expected. Jim was so terrified that Spock might find out, and he wasn't able to even _imagine _what would happen if he did.

"I thought I was your friend, Jim. Do you not trust me?"

*~*~*

He knew he shouldn't have asked it. That would have meant that Jim knew he could read his mind. Well Jim _knew_ that Spock could read minds, in general, but Spock was sure it would make this conversation more difficult if Jim thought Spock was reading his mind. Humans and other psi-null species tended to behave as such.

But that seemed to be the last thing on Jim's mind which was again filled with terror and understanding, neither of which Spock could understand.

"Nothing, Spock. Nothing."

That, Spock knew, was utter _rubbish_. He resisted the urge to shake Jim by his shoulders, but was unable to separate that image from the ones which followed, which consisted mainly of ripping his clothes off and ravishing him. Violently. He shivered at the thought, and it had nothing to do with the temperature.

"But if you do not want me to know, specifically, then it must be significant, or else you wouldn't care so much if I knew."

It was probably the crappiest argument that Spock had ever come up with. He could spot loopholes in it, like holes in a Terran phenomenon known as Swiss Cheese. Jim, however, was filled with despair. Hopefully, this meant that he couldn't spot the flaws in Spock's argument. Hopefully.

"Spock, please, _please_, leave it," Jim pleaded with desperation in his voice. Spock had not wanted to make him beg. It had been the last thing on his mind. It shattered Spock to think he had caused this in his friend, this level of fear.

"I thought I was your friend, Jim. Do you not trust me?" He asked, hoping to reassure Jim that he did not want anything from him in his time of weakness. Nothing but to bring him comfort.

Jim shook his head, replying, "I trust you like I have trusted none other, Spock," as if he regretted having to assure Spock of that.

*~*~*

Jim shook his head, replying, "I trust you like I have trusted none other, Spock."

He wanted to show Spock how much he trusted him, to show Spock that none of this was his fault, in any way. He wanted to meld with Spock, but to do so would be unbelievably risky for him. It would mean that Spock would _definitely_ find out about his feelings. It was an unacceptable future, an unacceptable risk.

Spock sat down on the other side of the table, gazing at him with serious eyes.

"Tell me what is wrong, Jim."

Jim couldn't resist those eyes, or his name pinned lovingly to the back of the question. He just couldn't.

"I don't know where to start."

*~*~*

He looked desperate and I think he was trying very hard to show that he trusted me. I think he was using the bond to show me his level of trust, and it was, indeed, shocking. It wasn't even trust, it was _faith_.

I sat down. We had to get to the chase. I looked at him, making sure he was not feverish. His heart rate was elevated greatly, but his body temperature was constant, despite the heat in his cheeks.

"Tell me what is wrong, Jim," I asked. This was definitely something I had to know, something that affected us both. It was important.

He flushed even more as I finished my statement, then seemed to resign himself.

"I don't know where to start." He sounded hopeless

"Start at the beginning." I _had_ to know.

*~*~*

"Start at the beginning," Spock replied calmly. His eyes sparkled, as if to say he was there, never fear!

"I don't think I can. I think I'll just tell you. Then you'll hate me forever." Jim said the last bit under his breath. "Spock, recently I've been having these feelings… feelings for you. I'm really sorry. I can't help it. It's just that you've come so close to me and you know so much about me, and I _trust_ you so much! I can't help it! Please forgive me?" Jim finished pathetically. He almost heaved a sigh of relief. It was over. Now the ball was in Spock's court.

*~*~*

He was panicking, and there was nothing I could do about it. But he seemed determined.

"I don't think I can. I think I'll just tell you. Then you'll hate me forever." The last part, incomprehensible, was almost as if Jim hadn't intended for him to hear it. He couldn't understand, even fathom how Jim could think that he would _ever_ hate him.

_Ever._

Jim started, determined, "Spock, recently I've been having these feelings… feelings for you. I'm really sorry. I can't help it. It's just that you've come so close to me and you know so much about me, and I _trust_ you so much! I can't help it! Please forgive me?" Jim finished, now desperate.

Spock was confused. "What?" he asked.

Jim groaned and looked as if he could cry. He hit hid head against the table with unnecessary violence, and asked, "Do you think you could forget the stuff I just said?"

"No," Spock replied, tone flat as he immediately stood up to feel for bruising. Jim pushed his hand away.

*~*~*

"What?" Spock asked, his tone flat.

Jim's heart and hopes plummeted from way up high, and splattered to bits on a concrete floor. He groaned. His worst nightmare was coming true. He hit his head on the table, hard, hoping that he'd wake up from the nightmare, and that it'd be a dream, _please_.

"Do you think you could forget the stuff I just said?" Jim asked, a last ditch attempt.

"No," Spock replied, no room for argument. He stood up to check for injuries with a warm concern that did not match his tone. Jim was aching for his touch, but he couldn't take that risk. He pushed Spock's hand away.

"What were you talking about? What feelings? I do not understand why you would require forgiveness. Vulcan do not approve of feelings, but they do not punish them."

Now Jim looked confused, and somewhat hopeful. Maybe… maybe there was hope yet…

*~*~*

"What were you talking about? What feelings? I do not understand why you would require forgiveness. Vulcan do not approve of feelings, but they do not punish them," Spock said, completely confused.

Jim looked hopeful, and Spock didn't understand that. He was _way_ out of his depth, as the Terrans put it.

"Jim, you need to clarify your meaning. I do not understand which feeling in particular you are referring to."

*~*~*

"Jim, you need to clarify your meaning. I do not understand which feeling in particular you are referring to."

Jim's heart (which had just splattered a while ago) flew into the sky. There were two choices here. He could pretend that the feelings were nothing, or he could tell the truth and see what happened. Somehow he knew he had to tell the truth, regardless of the outcome. Spock deserved that.

"I… I love you Spock. I—I don't know how to tell you why or when, or anything, but I know that I love you and that you're the most important thing in my life. I don't want this to get between us, I swear I won't do anything. I _swear_. Please just don't leave me."

*~*~*

To say Spock was confused would be an understatement.

The feeling on Jim's mind was one of steely determination and a soft warm thing which he was unable to identify.

He took a deep breath and started. The words registered, but in that sequence they made no sense.

"I… I love you Spock. I—I don't know how to tell you why or when, or anything, but I know that I love you and that you're the most important thing in my life. I don't want this to get between us, I swear I won't do anything. I _swear_. Please just don't leave me."

He _loved_ Spock? He loved _Spock?_

Spock felt like a balloon, filling up with helium, able to float to the stars. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know how to reassure Jim that he would never, never, never, _never_ leave him, ever. That he was the most important thing in Spock's life too.

*~*~*

Spock seemed to take a minute to make sense of his jumbled and hesitant confession. It would be a lie to say that he was confident, or that he wasn't scared. It would be a really big lie.

Spock looked like he was _glowing_, and Jim was pretty sure that was a bad sign. He'd never seen Spock so angry that he glowed. Well, there was his answer, he supposed. His hopes sinking rapidly.

Suddenly Spock stood up and Jim did too, ready to stop him from leaving the room. Instead Spock made a movement in the other direction, towards Jim, across the desk.

He placed his palm on Jim's cheek, and Jim closed his eyes, relishing the contact (at _last!_) and the warmth.

Then before he knew it, Spock was kissing him, sealing his lips with his own. Not entirely sure how, the table was gone and there was nothing between them. The kiss was soft and exquisite, Jim and Spock breathing hard. Spock tasted like something he'd never tasted before, and it was so exotic and he couldn't get enough of it. He could feel Spock's long lashes against his cheek and Spock's hand on the small of his back, pulling him closer.

Jim's hands were tangled in the silken black hair he'd been dying to touch for a very long time. He felt like a man in a desert who had finally found water, and salvation. His breath stuttered. He had met women who could make his breath stop, but never _stutter_.

Spock's tongue brushed his lower lip and sucked it, and without thinking Jim's lips parted, giving entrance. Spock's tongue was warm and tasted just a good as his lips, and it explored his mouth expertly. Jim wasn't able to stop a groan from escaping, it felt _so_ good.

Suddenly Spock stepped away.

*~*~*

It took courage, but Spock knew Jim's confession had taken courage as well. Spock got up and Jim did too, defensive all of a sudden. Vaguely Spock wondered if Jim thought Spock was going to beat him up.

Determined to surprise him, Spock reached over and placed his lips on Jim's. He was not very experienced, but he knew, he could just _feel_ that this kiss would be enjoyable. He let his hand cup Jim's cheek, supporting him. He pushed the table away unthinkingly. It slid and bumped into another table near-by.

Jim tasted like peppermint, like the peppermint candy he was so fond of. Normally Spock _hated_ it, but he knew he could come to love it here.

All Spock's thoughts vanished when Jim began to kiss back, after the initial two seconds of stillness. It was a feeling of lightness like nothing he had ever felt before.

In some natural instinct, Spock let his tongue brush Jim's lower lips and sucked it gently, and Jim's lips instantly parted, allowing access to his mouth. He was kissing back passionately and Spock let his tongue explore Jim's mouth, just as Jim's fingers were gently mussing his hair. He felt Jim's muscular back under his fingers, and there was an incredible feeling of completeness. Jim moaned into the kiss, and suddenly Spock realised he had to step back before he hurt Jim.

Jim looked utterly lost when Spock pulled away, as if he didn't like not kissing Spock.

"Com'ere, Spock. Come back to me," Jim whispered, and Spock wasn't able to resist.

"I won't—I won't be able to stop Ji—im, oh! I can't stop when I'm not think—ing oh god Jim!" Spock tried to explain his reasoning to Jim, but Jim was in no mood to listen to anything apparently. He had pulled Spock back to himself and was carefully exploring Spock's ear. The sensation of Jim's warm breath on his ear, followed by his tongue was new, fascinating and incredible. It was even harder to concentrate as Jim made his way down Spock's neck to his collarbone and nipped hard enough to bruise, but not hard enough to break the skin.

Spock gave up and broke away sharply. Jim stumbled, but Spock caught him safely in his arms and firmly kissed him on the lips with a growl which made Jim laugh.

"Later Jim, later. We have all the time in the world for love. I reciprocate your fee—I love you too, you must know?"

Jim nodded, happy for the first time in a while. Spock kissed him again, and again and again, unable to get enough of Jim's taste, his slightly salty skin. He knew he wasn't exactly following his own rules, but Jim didn't seem to mind.

Spock shook himself and pulled away. God, this sucked. He couldn't even _think_ straight when he was touching Jim.

Jim looked put off, again as Spock removed his hands from Jim's body. "I can't think," Spock defended.

Jim grinned. "You think too much anyway," he said, pulling back into Spock's arms. Hey, who was Spock to refuse, he thought dimly as he kissed Jim again.

Here he was, happier than he had been in a long while. Maybe the universe was good. Or was that Jim thinking? He couldn't tell, and didn't care anymore. He smiled into the kiss as Jim moved his hands inappropriately low, and Jim smiled back. He was in his lovers arms and it felt really good.

All was well. All would be well.

Well? How was it? You can tell I was about to move on, but I wasn't sure if I could take that step into uncharted territory. Let me know if you think I can handle it, and maybe I'll take a shot at it.

REVIEW!!!

Love,  
Lady Merlin


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